Idea: Candyland Simulator

WARNING TO PARENTS: this post contains adult language not suitable for little kids. 

This Christmas, no doubt many kids will get their very first board game: Candyland. And no doubt, many adults will have to suffer through games of Candyland with these whiny little brats. 

Enter my  latest invention: the Candyland Simulator. 

The game Candyland is a real drag to play with a 5 year old.  It's boring as hell. And kids that age tend to whine when they don't win, or when they draw a card that sends them back to the beginning. So the next time a 5 year old asks you to play, say "sure! Let's use the Candyland simulator!"

Candyland does not require the player to make any decisions in the game. It is completely deterministic based on how the cards are shuffled beforehand. You just draw a card and follow the instructions. No decisions to make.  Because of this, you can calculate the winner of the game simply by examining the cards, without actually playing it. 

The Candyland simulator does this for you. You just click "play Candyland" and the game immediately tells you who won. You can now play Candyland in less the a second. Shit, you can play 60 games in less time than it takes to take a dump. 

Your move, Milton Bradley. 

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